Top 5: It's over.

There is NOTHING* left to write about. We've seen all Seville has to offer. And Spain? Over it!** We're ready to shake this little town for the city that never sleeps. (Actually, given how many times those damn kids on the Alameda woke me up with their 5-a.m. antics, Seville may have New York beat on that one.)

No matter! Who says you can't go home? Certainly not Jon Bon Jovi, and he's been around the world, so he knows what he's talking about. We've been there, done that; there's only one place left we want to go: home. Herewith, the Top 5 things we can't wait to get back to in 11 days, in order of most importance ...

Jay:
1. English Speakers, Particularly Friends And Family. The Spanish are among the friendliest and most patient people I’ve encountered, and though my skill at speaking the language has improved (it’s not hard to build on a baseline of nothing), I’m still craving good conversations and encounters with friends and family.

2. Burgers. While Spanish food is some of the best I’ve had, and the abundance of pork, fried cheeses and fresh seafood have left me little to desire, there is one thing I miss: the humble American cheeseburger.

3. A Proper Haircut. My lack of Spanish has led to the disaster on top of my head. Barbers are a garrulous bunch who require constant instruction—“A little off the top” or “Oh no. Please stop cutting.” I simply don’t have the command of this language to direct a barber. Instead, I have relied on the kindness of others: Jenn’s occasional removal of neck hairs; Casey’s American-voltage clippers that blew up midway through a trim; and a late-night, wine-fueled haircut, courtesy of Kristen.

4. Television. I hate to admit it. I miss American television. Though we have a stable of DVDs and have taken advantage of the new iTunes movie rental service, I’m looking forward to the feel of the remote in my hand and hundreds of channels of English-language crap at my command.

5. My Kitchen. Currently, we have two electric stove top burners, a microwave and a sad supply of cutlery, pots, pans and utensils. In New York, I’ll return to sharp knives, skillets whose surfaces don’t cling to everything they touch and an actual oven.

Jenn:
1. An Eyebrow Wax, Manicure and Pedicure. Yes, this actually trumps seeing friends and family. I'm just that vain, apparently.

2. Friends and Family. Simply put, I can't wait to see everyone! But not before I have some maintenance performed.

3. Having a Menu at MY Mercy. Lord, how I can't wait to get my hand on a menu where I actually know what I'm ordering. And if I don't like what I see, I can get all Sally Albright on any item.

4. A Looooong, Hot Shower. There is an endless supply of hot water to be had at my apartment in Astoria. Here; not so much.




5. Summer Reruns. Finally, I can actually watch Blair spar with Chuck and Jenny, instead of having to read about it. The quips just never translate as well.






Look for more Top 5's throughout the remainder of our time here--as I said, there just isn't much to write about anymore!***

*This isn't exactly true.

**For the record, Jay isn't "over" Spain; he just lacks a flair for the dramatic.

***See first note.

The End is Nigh

All things must come to an end and so it is that it is our last full week in Seville. My, how time flies! It seems like just yesterday I was worried about shoving three months' worth of clothing into one suitcase. Now I'm concerned about shoving three months' worth of clothing plus three months' worth of souvenirs into one suitcase that doesn't work properly.

We expect the following days to be a scramble to do and see things we've been meaning to, like trek to the top of the cathedral (which we did this weekend) and buy some dulces from the nuns (which we're hoping to do this weekend). We also have some other things on the agenda, like fixing the washing machine that Jay broke in frustration a month ago and trying to figure out if Madrid merits a one- or two-night stay.

Madrid will be the last of our Spanish excursions and it's amazing to realize how little of this huge country we covered, despite all of our travels (the map at right will give you an idea of what I mean).

Here is what will likely be one of our final sets of pictures we will share with you from Spain, covering some Seville leftovers and our recent trip to Granada--partly in celebration of our two-year anniversary, which I made Jay celebrate even though he's against "datingversaries," thinking such festivities should be left to real unions, like marriages, but since as the girlfriend it's my job to be annoying, I made him acknowledge it with a weekend away. My crazy milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, I know.

Conflicts of Interest

Two articles on the Times web site today particularly interested me and it wasn't until I was flipping between one and the next that I realized how starkly different, yet interconnected, they are:

The first, "Five Basics for Building a Solid Financial Future," caught my eye because I’ve been thinking that, oh, I don’t know, maybe I should start accumulating grown up things like health insurance and a retirement plan once I’m back. The columnist writes:

Few employers want us around for 40 years, so our income is likely to have ups and downs and disappear altogether for brief periods between jobs. Saving for retirement is now mostly our responsibility, too. Health insurance, for those of us who have it and manage to keep it, requires increasingly large amounts of money out of our pockets. The list goes on and on ... Given the stakes, it is hard to avoid the persistent low-grade fear that we have made wrong choices or cannot find the right ones, even though they are out there somewhere.

The second, "Chasing Utopia, Family Imagines No Possessions," profiles a successful young family from Austin, TX, who are donating everything they own to live a simpler life off the land in Vermont, a current fantasy of mine. (They are, of course, not going so simplistic that they can’t blog about the experience.) The Times dubs this part of "the voluntary simplicity movement" that started so, so, long ago, in the 1980s:

"The idea in the movement was 'everything you own owns you,' said Dr. Grigsby, who sees roots of the philosophy in the lives of the Puritans. "You have to care for it, store it. It becomes an appendage, I think. If it enhances your life and helps you do the things you want to do, great. If you are burdened by these things and they become the center of what you have to do to live, is that really positive?"

Methinks not.

There's a great appeal in this idea, chiefly because it's such a great excuse for the sorry state of uninsured and quasi-unemployment I'm in right now. So, in the course of reading these two articles, which essentially totaled the time it took to drink one cup of tea, I’ve decided to eff it all and become a socialist, as money is the root of evil. Must be the current Spanish administration rubbing off on me.

Call us! We should totally hang.

"She takes soy milk in her coffee. He thinks pork fat is a perfect pizza topping."

All the more reason why I wish Jay and I had run into Gwyneth Paltrow--perhaps my favorite actress no matter how many people hate her--and Mario Batali--absolutely Jay's most favorite chef and restaurateur no matter how much people mock his penchant for orange Crocs--as they take a foodie road trip through Spain for a show that debuts on PBS this fall.



We're still here and this video makes us nostalgic. It also makes us wish we had a professional camera crew following us in our convertible these last three months and that at least one of us possessed Gwynnie's command of Spanish.

Oh, and? NB to Gwyneth: I think I gained those 10 kilos on your behalf.

These Dreams, Cont.

I've previously documented the dreadful dreams I've been having since arriving in Seville, and now, it seems they've become contagious.

First, it should be noted that I am a very light sleeper. The slightest wiggle of a bed mate's toe will cause me to immediately come to consciousness. So I wasn't surprised to be woken up when a fully asleep Jay shot upright in bed late last night.

"Are you OK?" I asked with sleepy concern.

"Yes," he said. "It was just a dream."

"What was it?" I replied, thinking it involved the impalement of a family member or the premonition of a fiery plane crash on our way back to New York.

He turned to me. "I dreamt that I was at Shake Shack,"--that famous New York burger joint--"and the burger was terrible."

It figures.

This news comes after 10 weeks of living on a crappy conversion rate, with only three more to go:

After six years of stumbling against the euro, the dollar may be showing signs of getting back on its feet.

And another thing...

I've read so much about the amazingness that was Monday night's ep of "Gossip Girl" that I decided to brave the craptastic streaming video capabilities here to watch it. Alas, I arrive at the CW's video page only to be told: "We're sorry, but our viewer currently does not support users outside of the United States."

"But I'm American!" I wanted to scream.

Exit Interview: Casey and Kristen

The editorial staff of See Jenn Blog has developed a questionnaire for guests, fielded the night before they leave, to get their impressions of the city. We were very conflicted about the arrival of Casey and Kristen, our final guests. It’s not that we weren’t thrilled to host them; it’s just that we knew the end of their trip marked the beginning of the end for our time in Seville. Now that they’re gone—and with less than one month left to go for the two of us—we couldn’t think of a better note to go out on.

Jenn: What was your favorite thing about Seville?
Casey: Mine was Basilica de Macarena.
Jay: Diamond tears?
Casey: Yeah.
Kristen: I’m going to say that was one of my favorites too and also the food.
Casey: The food is dynamite.
Jenn: The dates wrapped in bacon—is that the favorite?
Kristen: The goat cheese, that’s the favorite. Casey’s favorite is probably the dates wrapped in bacon.
Casey: Or the croquettas.
Jay: I guess boquerones [fried anchovies] don’t go on there because that was in Ronda.
Casey: Yup. David Faustino’s specialty. [The restaurant—a Rick Steves recommendation—was called Faustino’s, but we took to calling it after the actor who played Bud Bundy on Married With Children—Ed.]

Jay: What was your least favorite thing about Seville?
Casey: The driving. It was awful. Scooters are also bad. I didn’t like the scooters.
Kristen: The bathrooms with no soap or paper towels.
Jenn: Thank God for lavender-scented hand sanitizer!
Kristen: I also didn’t like how the light switches were all outside of the bathrooms, so I’d get in there and fumble around.
Jay: Jenn had a little incident with one where the light was timed and went out before she was finished.
Jenn: Thanks for bringing that up.
Casey: And you can’t take that out because it’s in the transcript.
Jay: Sorry Jenn. Can’t undo it now.

Jay: Was there anything you wanted to experience but didn’t?
Casey: Isla Magica or the Cruzcampo tour [Isla Magica is a Great Adventure-like theme park we don’t think Casey really wanted to go and Cruzcampo is the Spanish Budweiser with a brewery in Seville, which we think Casey really wanted to go to—Ed.]. We don’t even know if they give them, but in my mind, they do. We’ve been drinking your beer for two weeks now, pal, lets take a look inside.
Jay: Yeah, we already paid for our tour.
Casey: But seriously, we saw all of Seville. We covered all the major tourist attractions.
Kristen: Yeah, we saw everything.

Jay: What was the best part of your trip?
Kristen: The monkeys in Gibraltar.
Casey: Gibraltar.
Kristen: I liked the views through Gibraltar too.
Casey: I did like late-night swimming in the Mediterranean, too. That was pretty cool.
Jenn: You guys have been friends for a really long time, so where would this trip rank in terms of memorable moments?
Casey: It’s probably one of the top ones. It was an amazing road trip and the only other event that I could compare it to is the first time all of our friends went to Michigan. It was an eye-opening experience for all of us because it was our first time, and for us on this trip, it was all new, too. It’s definitely the top road trip I’ve ever been on. Multiple stops, multiple cities, three countries, four days—I don’t think you can top that.
Kristen: You can’t.
Jay: We encountered apes, camels, cobras—
Casey: Morrocans.

Jay: Now this is always the tough one. Who would you rather be stranded in a foreign country with for three months: Jay or Jenn? And I’m sorry, but Rick Steves isn’t an option.
Casey: I have to take Jenn, she spoke the language.
Jay: And she can drive stick!
Kristen: That’s true.
Casey: If not for you, Jay and I would be starving and not be able to go anywhere.
Jenn: [to Jay] Your Spanish has gotten a lot better.
Jay: Hmm. Well, that’s because I didn’t speak any when I got here and now I can order a meal.
Casey: That’s all Kristen and I really learned how to do: order food and wine.
Kristen: And counting.
Jenn: All right, this is probably the more accurate question: Could you see yourself traveling with us for an extended period of time again?
Kristen: Yes, absolutely.
Casey: I’d say definitely. We got along really well, no conflicts and everyone was interested in accommodating other people. I thought it was great.
Jay: And I’m glad that you guys were so flexible, because there was that moment in Marbella when we were trying to figure out a hotel room in Tarifa and I’m just so glad we did it, because it allowed us to see another city, go to Gibraltar and actually go to Tangier, because we probably wouldn’t have made that 9 a.m. ferry if we had stayed two hours away in Marbella. That made the trip and it added a little level of, um—
Jenn: Spontaneity.
Jay: Yes, spontaneity. Thanks, Jenn.
Casey: Would you guys travel with us again?
Jay: Definitely!
Jenn: Absolutely.
Kristen: Definitely Casey, maybe me.
Jenn: Are you kidding? At least if you’re around I can be like, “you two just go, she and I will go to bed.”
Casey: Jay and I like the cocktails.
Jay: Yes. Yes we do.

Jay: This is the final question. Can you see yourself living in Seville? Why or why not?
Kristen: It’s beautiful and I really like it, but I don’t think I could do it.
Jenn: Why not?
Kristen: If I spoke Spanish it would be different.
Casey: I would say no for me as well. Beautiful, great food, very nice people, but too laid back for me. I like to get things done and then do my relaxing and here it seems like they relax and get things done whenever they want.
Jenn: Which was exactly my entire reason for coming here. To reverse my OCD.
Casey: Maybe if you stay here for a while you get used to it. It’s not that I don’t like the city—I don’t want to give you that impression, it’s just like, I think, living in the Southern United States. It’s very laid back and you get things done when you want and that’s just not what I’m used to.
Jay: You’re too rigid, Cas.
Casey: I’m just not comfortable with it.
Jenn: Plus, you probably don’t like the way the dollar is measuring up against the euro right now. [Casey is admittedly on the frugal side—Ed.]
Casey: It hurts a little, but that wasn’t a major contributor in what we did or didn’t do.
Kristen: I’m just too much of a control freak. I have to know where everything is and how to say everything I want to say.
Jay: It’s not without its frustrations.
Kristen: I had a hard time with the lines—that no one was getting in any.
Casey: Can you guys see yourselves living here indefinitely?
Jenn: I don’t think I’d move here indefinitely. Three months is a good amount of time.
Jay: No, because I don’t think I want to endure a summer here, because I hear they’re just awful. I don’t know, but we’ll see when we do our own Exit Interview if we want more or less by the time we leave.
Casey: But I don’t think there’s anything cooler you could do. We saw mountains, we saw ocean—
Jenn: We saw two oceans!
Kristen: Amazing views.
Jay: That ride down from Ronda to Marbella—that was amazing. Every turn was something different and then eventually there was the ocean. It really is beautiful.
Kristen: It’s amazing when you think about how much we did and it already seems like so long ago, like Morocco.
Casey: I’m glad we didn’t get Hassan’s Revenge. [The Moroccan version of Montezuma, duh—Ed.]
Jenn: It’s the one thing Rick Steves was wrong about.
Casey: Thankfully, yes.
Kristen: Well, he probably gave us a little scare that we needed.
Jenn: [to Jay] Yes, because otherwise I can totally see you going for street meat.
Jay: Yeah, totally.
Jenn: If he hadn’t inflicted the fear in you… Ohmigod.
Casey: This is boiled cobra, would you like to try it?
Jay: Yes!

This is the last time I answer this question.

Scores of you have asked whether Jay and I are sick of each other yet, given that we've been in one another's company essentially nonstop for the last 60 days. The answer is, saccharinely, no. In fact, just this morning I received the following e-mail, which warmed my heart:

To: Jennifer Merritt
From: Jason Boehmer
Subject: A band from NJ

It's after midnight on Saturday, and you're sleeping in the bedroom. I'm listening to a punk(ish) band from New Jersey on the Internet, and I like it. Thought you might too. j

http://www.myspace.com/titusandronicus

To: Jason Boehmer
From: Jennifer Merritt
Subject: RE: A band from NJ

God, I'm so lame.

Now, it's after 10 a.m. on Sunday morning and you're sleeping in the bedroom. I'm listening to the band and I really like them. We should attempt to check them out once we're back.

xoxo,

j.

See? We're not sick of each other. We've just taken to communicating with each other solely via e-mail. (And, it should be noted, the aforementioned band proclaims to "never sing songs about love, only about hate.")

Exit Interview: Rick Steves

The editorial staff of See Jenn Blog has developed a questionnaire for guests, fielded the night before they leave, to get their impressions of the city. Rick, who has visited Seville before, was an unexpected guest, arriving under the arms of Casey and Kristen, but he earned his keep by offering up delicious and cheap restaurant recommendations, accurate city observations and flawless driving directions. We wish he'd stick around longer, but sadly, he must return to the library in Columbus, OH. Herewith, his words we came to live by...

See Jenn Blog: What was your favorite thing about Seville?
Rick Steves: Seville has a soul. It's a wonderful-to-be-alive-in kind of place.

SJB: What was your least favorite thing about Seville?
RS: The gateway to the New World in the 16th century, Seville boomed when Spain did... In the 17th century, Seville was Spain's largest and richest city... Seville's Golden Age--and its New World riches--ended when the harbor silted up and the Spanish empire crumbled.

SJB: What was the best part of your trip?
RS: Seville has its share of impressive sights, but the real magic is the city itself, with its tangled Jewish Quarter, riveting flamenco shows, thriving bars and teeming evening paseo.

SJB: Who would you rather be stranded in a foreign country with for three months: Jay or Jenn?
RS: [My] wife (and favorite travel partner) Anne... Rick has spent four months every year since 1973 exploring Europe. He's researched and written more than 30 travel guidebooks, writes and hosts the public television series Rick Steves' Europe, and also hosts the public radio show Travel With Rick Steves. [So neither of us, apparently. And we don't blame him--Ed.]

SJB: Could you see yourself living in Seville? Why or why not?
RS: If there ever was a Spanish city to linger in, it's Seville.

Photo: Rick Steves
Excerpted from Rick Steves' Spain 2007

Travels With Rick (and Casey and Kristen and Jenn)

Most people know Rick Steves from his PBS television series on European travel, his line of guidebooks or, perhaps, any number of rallies at which he promotes the legalization of marijuana. He’s American, affable, geeky and roughly my parents’ age. He also makes a terrific travel companion. Or, at least his books do.

Last Wednesday, the five of us, along with Casey’s luggage that approximated my height and weight, packed into a compact European rental car to see Andalusia. Over the four-day road trip, we hit five cities, three countries and two continents, stepping on the banks of both the Mediterranean and the Atlantic. We encountered apes, snake charmers, camels, and Moroccans. We did it all on one tank of gas, and we did it all with the help of Rick Steves (or as we’ve affectionately grown to call him: Ricky, RS, Stevesy or just Rick). Here’s a quick rundown of the trip:

Ronda

“Ronda’s breathtaking ravine divides the town’s labyrinthine Moorish quarter and its new, noisier Mercadillo quarter,” Rick said. He is correct: It’s a beautiful town of all-white buildings perched atop a gorge and surrounded by mountains. Ricky also was spot-on in his restaurant recommendation of “the no-frills Café & Bar Faustino,” where Casey and I became devotees to boquerones, or little fried anchovies. The one thing Rick’s guide to Ronda was lacking was an entry like this: “If you forget to pack underwear, don’t shop at Costa Sol, where the three-euro bargain bin is filled with tight-fitting and boldly designed men’s undergarments.”

Marbella

Rick had little to say about this coastal town on the Mediterranean, so we simply went to the beach, then to the grocery store for beer, wine and snacks and then back to the beach for spontaneous midnight swimming. His lack of restaurant recommendations left us stranded with Telepizza—the Spanish equivalent to Domino’s. Though I’m sure Rick, whose mantra is to live like a local, would have recommended something along those lines.

Gibraltar

Casey asked our tour guide, who drove us up the famously perilous rock, if the Barbary apes that inhabit the British territory had ever bitten anyone in his tour group. He replied, “Not until this morning. One of them bit a little girl.” If that wasn’t ominous enough, RS warned us to “keep your distance from the apes and beware of their kleptomaniac tendencies.” We didn’t heed Rick’s advice and three-fourths of us allowed the apes to hang out on our shoulders. No one was bitten or pilfered. We named one of them Mr. Baloney for no apparent reason.

Tarifa

We canceled our second night in Marbella, going instead to a hostal in Tarifa recommended by our boy Stevesy. It was a pleasant and very windy town, where we spent one low-key night in anticipation of our trip to the northern tip of Africa.

Tangier

Rick listed his Tangier warnings in rapid order: “Most of the English-speaking Moroccans that the tourist meets are hustlers. Most visitors develop some intestinal problems by the end of their visit. Most women are harassed on the streets by horny but generally harmless men. [I think this is a very cheep shot at Casey and me—Ed.] Things don’t work smoothly.” We went anyway. Rick further cautioned: “When you get diarrhea—and you should plan on it—adjust your diet.” Heeding his warnings, Jenn stashed granola bars and peanuts in her purse. The rest of us dove into the spicy but very tasty food and thankfully didn’t have to break into the Immodium.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then we posted 190,000 words on the trip on Snapfish. View them here.

I've come a long way since Stanhope, NJ.

Not only have we been living above a grow shop for the last two months, but we just recently caught on to the fact that "women of the night" (and day, in this case) hang out around the corner from our apartment, right near our favorite gelato shop. And yet! None of this phases me.

I feel so bohemian, circa 1970s East Village.

These Dreams

Ever since I arrived in Seville, I’ve been having really disturbing dreams. Like, for reals. One was about the natural death of someone close to me, another involved me letting someone die for the sake of saving myself, while another had me at a round table interview with Gwyneth Paltrow, my lovely friend and editor Dawn, and my dad, who totally monopolized the interview with thoughtful and engaging questions. All of these dreams leave me equally terrified.

Last night’s was a particular standout. I was badgering Sarah Jessica Parker about why she didn’t like me. I kept asking and asking, like a three-year-old in his why stage, and she refused to answer me. At last exasperated, she shouted, “Fine! You want to know why I don’t like you? Because when I look into your eyes I see nothing!” I was rendered speechless and felt that pang in my chest--you know the one you get, like when you overhear a friend say something nasty about you--and I felt like a completely worthless being, because in this case, SJP was the Dali Lama in a gray frock and too-tight ponytail. I woke up sweaty and shaking.

Weird, right? I’ve been feeling really unhappy with myself here, mostly because I'm so unkempt, being too chicken to go to the salon and ask for an eyebrow wax, manicure and pedicure, so, perhaps that’s it. Plus, t-minus 31 days until the SATC movie opens!

Hi!

We haven't forgotten about you, dear readers, it's just that we're in the midst of 20 straight days of visitors, with whom we've been traveling around Spain; plus our bosses still expect us to work during the week--if you can believe that audacity--so please forgive the sparsity of posts as of late. The good news is, all of this has produced a wealth of material--that is, once we have the time to actually write for fun. In the meantime, here's the lazy blogger's antidote to too much going on, with too little time: a listicle of recent happenings.

• If you're traveling at all in the next few months, you might want to make sure you arrive at the right terminal or even that your chosen airline still exists.

• I've got a new blogging gig, turning celebrity hijinks into valuable parenting lessons. Check it out and comment--just don't mention that I don't have children.

• You can get a little insight into my Andalusian travels by reading some of my recent posts on HotelChatter. Come next week, not all hotels will have fared so well in their reviews.

• Speaking of HotelChatter, the site was just acquired by CondéNet, the online arm of CondéNast. I wonder: Does this now make me a Nastie, once removed?

Exit Interview: Sarah McGinnis

The editorial staff of See Jenn Blog has developed a questionnaire for guests, fielded the night before they leave, to get their impressions of the city. Sarah, our second guest, was a very willing participant, prefacing the interview with, “Can you guys get your shit together and ask me the damn questions?”

Jenn: What was your favorite thing about Seville?
Sarah: Sevici. The bikes, absolutely. Especially riding in a dress the one day—that was an episode. The construction worker I passed liked that one.
Jay: And it wasn’t until you got here that we actually worked up the nerve to go through the city streets.
Sarah: That was probably the best part, riding through the city. People look at you like you’re weird, but who cares? Zooming in and out of the people and just getting around was great. It’s an excellent way to see the city.
[Jenn starts to ask the next question when Sarah interrupts.]
Sarah: And, of course, the company! Can’t leave that out.
Jay: Nice afterthought.
Jenn: No, that’s just a given.
Sarah: Exactly.

Jenn: What was your least favorite thing about Seville?
Sarah: The first thing that comes to mind is Corrie’s response about dog poop. [Ed note: Little did Sarah know that later that evening she was to step into a big steaming pile of it]. I’ll have to mirror that, but also come up with something original. Least favorite: The rude waitress that told you you were ignorant for not knowing Spanish. [Yes, I got reprimanded quite harshly recently—JM]
Jay: That’s risen to the top of my least favorite thing, too.
Jenn: Well, she’s just one out the million people who have been patient with us.
Jay: She is the exception, not the rule, but, yeah, she sucked.
Sarah: A close runner up to that would be the lack of street signs, especially when driving.

Jenn: Was there anything you wanted to experience but didn't?
Sarah: The convent. We missed it because of the time delay we had. That would have been interesting to go inside of a convent.

Jenn: What was the best part of your trip?
Sarah: Getting to see so much and having the time to be able to see so many different cities and experience so much of Andalucia. I’m going to put another plug in for it, but Granada is beautiful, although I love Seville and I’ve had an absolutely fabulous time here, Granada is amazing as well.
Jay: I like how you picked the one city neither of us accompanied you to.
Sarah: That has nothing to do with it. If you guys had been there, you would have been in awe.
Jenn: What was it that you loved so much about Granada?
Sarah: The views, the smells, that the people were so nice--much more outgoing I think than the other towns, but maybe it’s because I was on my own that people felt they could talk to me.
Jenn: Do you think you’ll go back again and spend more time there?
Sarah: I don’t know. I’ve seen it and I don’t know if I’d fly back just to see it again, but I definitely recommend other people go there. Seville and Granada were my two favorite cities. Though it was great seeing all the other stuff, it wasn’t the overall five-senses experience I had here and there.

Jenn: Who would you rather be stranded in a foreign country with for three months: Jay or Jenn?
Sarah: [seemingly nervous] Did Corrie get asked this question?
Jenn: She did!
Sarah: That’s a difficult question because I’ve been to Mexico with Jenn [I hate Mexico—JM], so that was a different experience all together. I might say Jay because at least he can tell me where to go. For no other reason than that.
Jenn: [to Jay] We’re one for one.
Jay: Thanks for including me. That was a very diplomatic answer.
Sarah: I think there were a few times—and Jenn you’ll have to forgive me this—but where I was like, “Jenn! Where am I turning now?!” and I was getting impatient. My lack of patience can be annoying at times, so, sorry!

Jenn: Could you see yourself living in Seville? Why or why not?
Sarah: Absolutely. It would mean weekend trips to Granada! I would definitely live in Granada and I would live here, too. I love Spain all around. Why wouldn’t I live here? What reason is there not to live here? Except for the fact that I don’t have a job here.

Sarah and a Series of Firsts

There is a first time for everything and it just so happens that a lot of firsts occurred with the visit of our friend and my former roommate Sarah. (She's an adventurous gal, so it makes sense.)

These first times included, but were not limited to, biking through Seville's city center (exhilarating, as we usually stick to the designated bike path); a bullfight (nauseating--or so I hear); driving through Spain (anxiety inducing); and a flamenco show at the renowned Casa Anselma, (fun, if not exactly as described by the guide books, which are becoming more useless every day, perhaps not surprisingly, given all the recent scandal).

Here are pictures, and above a video of said flamenco, which features an extremely sweaty man and a pretty bartender Jay totally would have put the moves on if I wasn't around.

UPDATE: The gauntlet has been thrown: Sarah has posted a whopping 526 photos on Snapfish.

Time Warped

On March 30, 2008 at 2 AM, the residents of Spain turned their clocks forward one hour—all the residents but us. For two weeks, we operated on Jay And Jenn Standard Time (JAJST), unwittingly sharing the Greenwich Mean zone with Iceland and parts of the Atlantic Ocean. All the while we would say to each other, “I’ll never understand the Spanish schedule.”

Finally, A Device That Kills Our Buzz

The mosquito problem is over thanks to a little contraption that plugs into our outlet. I didn’t read the manual, but I assume it emits some sort of vaporized insecticide. Now, when mosquitoes fly into its deadly path, the noxious vapors stop them mid-flight, forcing their little mosquito carcasses to plummet upon our sleeping bodies. Though our bed is converted into a mosquito graveyard by morning and the fumes may poison us both, it beats being awakened by a buzzing in the ear.

Serenity Now

Actually, the serenity took place yesterday, on the way back to Seville from Cordoba.

The Meanest Candy Guy In The World

General Franco is alive and well, and he is working at the candy kiosk on the south end of the Alameda de Hercules. I discovered this a week ago. It was a normal Friday evening in Seville—sunny, warm. The locals were enjoying tapas and vino at the cafes that dot our street. I, the lonely stranger, an American, stepped into the night to buy wine at the liquor shop. Jenn’s last words reverberated in my mind: “Grab me something sweet while you’re out. Something chocolaty.” I didn’t want to feed her all-consuming taste for coco and sugar—the brown stuff, mocha, black velvet. But I knew if I didn’t comply, her condition would deteriorate, perhaps into convulsions.

My bag was full of Rioja and vino blanco—the seco kind, not that dulce stuff—when I stepped to his booth. “Uh… uh… Uno Kit-Kat, por favor,” I timidly spoke through his little speak hole, the kind that adorn candy kiosks in Spain. His eyes were cold, his temper fomenting. His words shot back at me like cruel, mocking bullets that could not properly hit their target—for those bullets were in Spanish, and the target spoke none.

“Uh…uhmmmmm… Unos Keeet-Kaaaht, por fah-bor!!!” I fumbled, speaking louder, pointing my staccato finger for emphasis at that delicious confection alluringly hugging the window like a stripper in one of those peep booths. I grew panicky. I wanted to retreat, but then pictured Jenn on our apartment floor, needing the sweet, that dark chocolate rain. I’m sure by now she had grown desperate, gripped once again in the clench of her fanged sweet tooth.

He looked at me, said something I cannot repeat, for it was in a strange tongue. And then, in a tone befitting a cruel dictator at the crescendo of his angriest speech, he spoke: “Keeeeet-Kaahhhhhht!!!” His uncaring fingers impatiently pulled that delicious candy from its perch, his glare singed my eyes, and then he released the Kit-Kat before me. He said something. I handed him a Euro, cowering as I awaited my change.

But there would be no change that day, my friends. For, apparently it costs a Euro to buy a Kit-Kat in Spain. But I knew I was lucky to escape from General Franco with those four light, crispy, chocolate-coated wafers and my life.

It finally happened.

Last night, tired of cooking and sick of tapas, we decided to try this sushi joint we stumbled upon a few weeks ago. Big mistake. It was as if, in lieu rice, they soaked white bread in water and wrapped it around the contents of a California roll. Further adding insult to injury, this sushi's craptasticness only made me long for the indomitable Watawa in Astoria.

So it's back to tapas, which doesn't make me homesick.

Lunchtime Poll

Aliens (aka upcoming visitors) land on earth (aka Seville) and say they're going to make you (not really) attend a bullfight (aka bullfight), the same day you caught glimpses of a bullfight on TV and decided you couldn't handle it. What do you do?

Seriously. Bullfight season is in full swing and when Jay and I happened upon a televised fight at a bar today, I started tearing up the minute the poor thing pranced into the ring, unawares of what he was walking into. The whole thing is, in fact, worse than I imagined. Horses are involved, as are these spears, which look tiny but produce a nauseating amount of blood from the animal. I had no idea if the poor creature made it (it is, of course, doubtful), because Jay just kept telling me, "Don't look up. Just finish your drink and we'll go. Don't look up."

But the decision isn't the no-brainer it seems. Bullfighting is an incredibly integral part of Spanish culture, and Seville in particular. The stands are packed full of men in three-piece suits and women in their best archaic Sunday attire. If the whole point of this excursion is to immerse oneself in the day to day life of a Sevilliano, how can one not attend a bullfight? It seems so righteously uptight to not attend the spectacle based on principle, especially since I have been a far-from-perfect vegetarian since arriving here.

I await your advice in the comments.

Sangria Is For Suckers

Since arriving in Seville, I noticed about 30 percent of the patrons at any given café will be drinking what looks like Sangria on the rocks with a lemon slice. However, a confused exchange with a local bartender revealed that many Spaniards prefer another wine-based cocktail instead of the famous drink many Americans associate with Spain, and some with Mexico (for no apparent reason). Our bartender was kind enough to write the name down on the back of a receipt: Tinto de Verano, which means “Summer Wine.”

Since then, the fizzy, fruity and mildly sweet cocktail has become the base of my food pyramid—occupying the large slot the FDA reserves for whole grains or vegetables or something. It has what every man desires in an effervescent, wine-based cocktail, and goes great with tapas, fried foods or long days of work. I’ve since noticed that even when we’ve run out of eggs, bread and milk, our fridge will hold the makings of a slim, dainty glass of Tinto de Verano. I’m drinking one right now.

Let me break it down for you:

- Drop a few ice cubes into a glass (The Spanish seem to like a tall, slender glass or what bartenders know as the Collins Glass)

- Fill halfway with cheap red wine—if it has a cork, you paid too much

- Fill the rest of the glass with La Casera, a Spanish soft drink* that’s a cross between sparkling lemonade and Sprite, though not as sweet as either

- Squeeze a slice of lemon in there

- Drink

- Repeat up to nine times every afternoon, or until groggy

*I realize the use of “soft drink” betrays my Ohio roots, where “pop” is preferred. At least I refused to relent to Jenn’s insistence on “soda,” a word reserved for East Coast elitists like her. I’m still a “pop” man at heart. Go Buckeyes!

All work and little pay makes Jenn an angry girl.

Ed. note: This is my last whiny media-related post, I swear. Well, at least for a while anyway.

It ain’t easy freelancing. Those of you who are successful at it, I salute you, because honestly, I do not know how anyone can earnestly earn a living at it anymore, given the inconceivably crappy pay days I’ve come across as of late.* To wit, a recent smattering of compensation rates I’ve been unfortunate enough to actually click through to: $15 for 300 word articles, $20 for 300-500 word articles, $25 for 500+ words. Granted these are small articles, but it only gets more pathetic as the word counts get higher. I want to tell these people, are you effing kidding me?! And I rarely use exclamation points, so when I do you know I mean business.

And you know whom I blame for this rapidly descending pay rate? Bloggers. (Oh, the irony.) Those scores of wannabe writers who link to their blog posts as writing samples and will take any rate at the sake of having been published somewhere other than their self-fashioned web site. And you know what I want to say to these people? This “hobby” that you’ve taken up as a way to obtain some fulfillment that lacks in your career as a human resources manager—which likely pays you $80,000+ annually—is detracting from the fulfillment I’m striving for, namely, being able to, oh—I dunno—buy an apple every now and then.

The fact that I went to school for four years laboriously learning how to construct a lede, the time I spent debating the use of series versus Oxford commas, means nothing. Basically, I spent thousands of dollars learning a craft that you’ve managed to destroy with the advent of Blogger/Wordpress/Typepad et al.

God help me if Tumblr really takes off.

OK. Rant. Over.

*Chris, Gina, Ysolt, this post is in no way directed at any of you. Your regular use of my skillz helps me pay the billz, yo.

Exit Interview: Corrie Dosh

The editorial staff of See Jenn Blog has developed a questionnaire for guests, fielded the night before they leave, to get their impressions of the city. Corrie Dosh was, as she put it, the “first visitor to J&J Music Factory.” Here is a transcript of her exit interview:

Jay: What was your favorite thing about Seville?
Corrie: The food—fantastic food. I love the idea of tapas, just crawling around and eating as you go, taking little plates, though little plates added up to more little plates. So, whether I ate less, I don’t know. But I definitely got my exercise going from bar to bar.

Jenn: What was your favorite dish?
Corrie: The cheese! The rosemary-baked goat cheese… a little taste of heaven. I definitely recommend the cheese. Also, the picnic was a favorite. There were day-to-day favorites, but overall the food was great.

Jay: What was your least favorite thing about Seville?
Corrie: Dog poop (Sevillians don’t curb their dogs or clean up after them--Ed.) and maybe how fast Jay walks everywhere.
Jenn: I know! Now I’ll be all by myself 10 feet behind him for another week and a half. But that’s just Jay, that’s not life in Seville.
Corrie: Poop and Jay—those are my least favorite.

Jay: Was there anything here you wanted to experience but didn’t?
Corrie: The flamenco. I did see it, but it would be good to see a full-on performance. Also, a bullfight—those are the two main things. I’d also like to experience one day of Semana Santa, maybe not the whole thing where I’d be trapped in [one area], but one day. But that’s for the next trip.

Jay: What was the best part of your trip?
Corrie: The best is just seeing two great friends of mine in a great country and having an adventure with them, getting to connect with them in a new way. The people I met, even Eric—the slightly skeezy guy who showed us the bathroom very helpfully but tended to be a little clingy.
Jenn: He thought you were muy bonita!
Corrie: He thought I was muy single… I also loved Italica, just to have an adventure and get out and see stuff. I like old stuff.
Jay: It was my first Roman ruin.
Corrie: Yeah. It was a good intro. I should go to Rome next.

Jay: Who would you rather be stranded in a foreign country with for three months: Jay or Jenn?
Corrie: Jenn, because she speaks the language. I can use Jenn. I loved the whole part of the trip where people would speak to us and we would just turn to Jenn.
Jenn: Though Jay has better directional abilities than I do.
Corrie: True. We would go through a maze of Seville streets and end up magically at our destination thanks to Jay.
Jay: An hour later.
Corrie: For all I knew, we were on track the whole time.
Jay: It probably seems like a much larger city to you.
Corrie: Yes, Seville is a huge, sprawling city.

Jay: Could you see yourself living in Seville? Why or why not?
Corrie: I could see myself living here for the culture—also it’s just so relaxed. Basically, all people do here are eat, talk and relax—those are things I like to do. Also, I think the bikes are one of the best things about this city. The whole idea of picking it up somewhere and if you get to your destination within a half hour, it’s free. I think every city should have a bike system like Seville. I’d like to spend springs in Seville, I don’t know about the rest of the year.

Comped With Corrie

Our guests' visits are sort of evolving into a "Choose Your Own Adventure" series and in Corrie's case—who is the perfect guest because she is so c'est la vie—the trip culminated into "Spain: The Land of the Free." During her time here we netted complimentary jamón croquettas, a round of drinks, a separate round of shots and entry to Italica, the nearby Roman ruins. With the exception of Italica, these gracious givings were all at places Jay and I frequent on a weekly basis, places where we've gotten to know the bartenders and wait staff--at least to the degree our limited Spanish will let us. How generous the Spanish are! That, or they know how much we Americans like to impress one another.

Either way, having our first visitor was a blast and not just because she provided us with someone else to talk to. Have a look at mine and Corrie's 100+ photos from her visit.

Meet My New Guitar

Juan Luis Cayuela Bachiller is the third-generation luthier in the guitar-making dynasty Cayuela family. From his workshop in Seville, he handcrafts beautiful instruments for many of Spain’s flamenco greats, delicately bringing dead wood and nylon strings to life.

When I stepped into his shop this week, he was sitting in the corner hammering out a flamenco tune on one of his flawless instruments. I was awestruck by the guitar, highly glossed and perfectly constructed. There were dozens like it lining the walls—all carefully crafted pieces that asked prices up to €4,000. His siren song, plucked in clearly resonating tones, beckoned me to max out my Visa, indenture myself as a lowly servant or barter my girlfriend.

Luckily, the Cayuela guitar shop also offers more affordable models that cater to the flamenco guitar needs of housewives, kids and tourists. Though another Seville-based manufacturer assembles them, I picked one up and haven’t regretted it. That’s it in the photo.

Meet My New Hero

Perhaps this is only interesting to my fellow travel writers, but here goes...

"Skyrocketing fuel prices. Unmanageable airline budgets. A declining U.S. dollar. International instability and America's increasingly dismal reputation abroad. The new age of travel is about more than waiting in line so that a sixty-year-old TSA biddy can wave a security wand in front of your crotch. In coming years, the way we travel will change significantly. Where all this leaves travel writing is an open question, but one thing is certain: the overly sentimental, cautious, and commercial tenor of travel writing is satisfying to almost no one beyond the navel gazers who write it and the 'hospitality' advertisers who sponsor it." --Smile When You're Lying: Confessions of a Rogue Travel Writer by Chuck Thompson

While I'm loathe to be called a naval gazer, I know all to well the b.s. of which Thompson speaks--and I've only been in the travel industry for two years, compared to Chuck's 10. It's a sad day when you realize how disgustingly the rest of the industry looks down on the genre you once so badly wanted to be a part of, not only because you wanted to travel the world, but because you wanted to tell stories, for better or for worse, of the things you saw. Instead, you're assigned to write articles constructed of sentences that end with, as Thompson points out, "a phone number, web address or other transparent plug for whatever tourist board happened to be picking up the tab."

Because today's travel "journalism" articles are mostly fluff pieces written by aging freeloaders who will put the entire contents of dinner's bread basket in their bag once you're not looking, I will never feel at ease being called a "travel writer." I sometimes wonder if pursuing this path did nothing more than brand myself as a talentless hack.

Photo: New York Times

UPDATE: Doree Shafrir manages to pull together everything I've been whining about this past week much better than I ever could. Please read. 

Mi Amigo

Antonio works across the street from our apartment at a café called Las Columnas. That's him in the picture, and here are 10 things I like about him:

1) He always greets us when we walk into the café.
2) He knows what we drink and readies one beer and one white wine the second he sees us.
3) He talks to us, though we never understand what he's saying, since he seems to speak some version of Spanish even Jenn can't decipher.
4) He's quick to smile, even though he is lacking teeth.
5) He has what looks like a prison tattoo on his fingers.
6) He gave us free jamon croquetas when Corrie was in town, making us look pretty damn cool.
7) He took pictures of us with his cell phone.
8) He asked for Jenn's phone number and e-mail address, which was ballsy, considering I was standing right there.
9) He yells out our food orders to the kitchen in very loud voice.
10) He's the closest thing Jenn and I have to a friend in Seville.

It's 4 p.m. EST. Do you know where your expats are?

If all else fails

...I can become a dancer at a vegan strip club. It would be like penance for all the bits of ham I've had since I arrived here. 

New Productivity Tool

Because of that damn bug (which has turned out to be a mosquito, by the way--yay, multiple bug bites are fun!), I have:

• caught up on e-mails
• had some green tea
• watched the sun rise
• done yoga
• and now, blogged
  

And it's only 8 a.m.

Meanwhile, Jay still has another three hours of sleep ahead of him. Slacker.

Who am I? Where am I going?

After reading Sam Kashner’s article in Vanity Fair, “Here’s to You, Mr. Nichols: The Making of The Graduate,” I’m totally crushing on Mike Nichols.

The quotes provided by the 76-year-old director made me laugh and contemplate things in a way that only a rich man who’s had the time and the means to reflect on life can. My favorite (and the article’s penultimate) quote is: “There’s nothing better than discovering, to your own astonishment, what you’re meant to do. It’s like falling in love.”

Sweet, non? It also reminds me of part of the reason to I came to Spain: to find what I guess would be my second calling, as my passion for writing slowly fades. (Yes, at 28, I’m burnt out. I’m over the competitiveness of the publishing world, the countless unrecognized résumés and seeing so many hacks get ahead, especially now that anyone with a blog can call themselves a writer—linkage company at right excluded.)

You see, the last time I spent a long period of time abroad, in England, I went thinking I would return home and become a kindergarten teacher. I always loved writing, but teaching was more practical (hey, that word again!) and just as underpaid, heh. Instead, walking the same streets and learning in the same classrooms as of some of my most favorite writers uncontrollably reignited my passion for pen and paper, and so, here I am.

And now, I’m almost right back where I started eight years ago, wandering the streets of some foreign city and waiting for inspiration, for that realization to strike, however corny and clichéd the whole idea may be.

At the time Nichols controversially cast Dustin Hoffman in the lead, he was reading Henry James’ “The Beast in the Jungle,” about “a young man who lets life and love pass him by while he waits for a cataclysmic event to transform him.” I plan to pick this book up on our next trip to the English-language bookstore; it certainly sounds apropos.

Image: Patricia Lin

The Music Sensation That’s Sweeping My Imagination

I’ve been thinking a lot about how a few of my favorite street musicians in Seville could join up and form a band, or really a supergroup—not unlike the Traveling Wilburys or Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. I propose we call them The Seville Street Musician Supergroup, or as converted into Español by FreeTranslation.com, El Músico Ambulante de Sevilla Super Grupo.

So, without further ado, here they are, ladies and gentlemen, El Músico Ambulante de Sevilla Super Grupo!!

On accordion: The two kids who are insistent about getting our change!
The two young dueling accordionists tend to perform together, and I think they primarily play the theme from the Godfather. They double team you and are not hesitant to mock you into giving them money. I relent about 30 percent of the time, mostly because I’m a sucker for accordion.

On upright Casiotone Keytar: The ululating Arab!
That’s him in the picture. He is my favorite and his song is very catchy. He ingeniously jury-rigged a microphone with duct tape to the top of the keyboard, which he wears like a guitar, so he can sing while he plays. However, I’m not sure he actually plays the Casiotone, but rather presses the “Bossa-Nova” button on the preprogrammed soundtrack. Still, it’s very good, and I dare you to try to get his Middle Eastern-flavored song out of your head within three hours of hearing it. I dare you.

On alto sax: The Spanish guy who only plays “Yesterday” by The Beatles!
He is accompanied by canned background music on a cassette tape. Think Kenny-G playing karaoke. He REALLY likes “Yesterday,” and he REALLY likes our street. When our windows are open, we can hear his rendition at least a dozen times during the siesta hours.

On tuba: The guy who plays tuba!
I actually have never seen him, so I’m just assuming he’s a guy, just because the demographic of Spanish street musicians seems to skew male. He’s somehow always out of sight, but always within earshot. Jenn thinks he plays “Puttin’ on the Ritz,” that 1929 Irving Berlin classic that was made popular to the MTV generation by Taco. I’m not so sure, though his song does sound a bit like that.

And there they are, El Músico Ambulante de Sevilla Super Grupo. I’d try to get more photos, but that would not come cheap since they live on tips. (The photo you see cost me €1.10.)

Another Day, Another Jesus

Are we boring you yet?

Alas, it is Easter and the end of Holy Week. Thankfully, Thursday's rain let up and we were able to see that night's processions, said to be the holiest of all Holy Week pasos, going all night and into the the wee hours of Good Friday morning.

The video and most of the photos are from La Macarena, put on by our quarter's church with some 3,000 Nazarenes, and representing the sentencing of Christ. It was the first paso we set out to see, having essentially stumbled upon the rest, and we really enjoyed watching it from beginning to end, despite the fact that it wasn't over until 2:30 a.m. Plus, nighttime viewing adds some intangibly special aspect to it all.

Even so, we're somewhat relieved to see Holy Week go. The onslaught of processions served as roadblocks, basically quarantining us to the Alameda. Though I must say I will miss the rare sight of a lone repenter in full get up, walking down the street, just going about his business. Its hilarity is something I will never tire of.

Finally, I feel compelled to note that I was not trying to be arty in blurring the photos. Using the flash overexposed the shots, so I decided not to use it, and as anyone who's taken a photography class knows, snapping pictures in the dark sans flash requires a steady hand—something I apparently need to work on. Before I left for this trip, I debated buying a new camera (one with triple shutter speed--perfect for action and nighttime shots!) and I stupidly decided not to, opting to pay taxes instead. Being less practical: something else I need to work on.

Nevertheless, enjoy and happy Easter!

The Whole Hog

Jenn and I have detailed how the Spanish enjoy their pork, but the ingredient list on a can of lentils with chorizo—aka lentejas con chorizo—further affirms this cultural assumption:

Ingredient #1
Lentils
So far, so good. You’d expect lentils to be the dominant ingredient in a can of lentils.

Ingredient #2
Cooking Water
Okay. Makes sense. It requires a good amount of both cooking and water to transform the lentil from its dried, stony state to the tender legume we all love so much.

Ingredient #3
Chorizo
Right on. The can mentioned that this tasty Spanish sausage would be present. Of course, the chorizo is broken down into its many subcomponents in parentheses—paprika, garlic, pork, something called “pork dewlap,” whatever that is, and a few other spices. Works for me.

Ingredient #4
Pork Lard
Hmmm. All right. Maybe the chorizo didn’t add enough porky goodness to the dish, so the makers wanted to punch that up with some lard. I’m not one to balk at gratuitous fat placement, which should make the healthy and humble lentil a bit more palatable. Fat is flavor, right?

Ingredient #5
Bacon
Holy shit! We have a trifecta! While chorizo offers a nice smoky sausage flavor, and the pork lard unleashes that lovely fat-laden unctuousness, the bacon will smack you across the face with a little more of both. Man, those Spaniards dig pork!

Ingredient #6
Pork Fat Bacon
What the fuck is that?!?!?! I swear this is what the can lists as the sixth ingredient. Is something lost in the translation? I have never seen those three words magically placed in that order: Pork. Fat. Bacon. What a reckless display of fatty meat usage. This is an affront to my high cholesterol and to Jenn’s wavering vegetarianism.

After that, the list grows a bit more mundane. Amid all that pork, the makers of this dish also found some room for salt, onion, white wine, parsley and pepper. This was to be my lunch today.

Alas, we don’t have a can opener.

The Honeymoon's Over, Kids

Evidentiary Support A: After two and a half weeks of beautiful weather, today is our second straight day of sogginess, quite literally raining on our parade, since rain = cancellation of the final and most revered of Holy Week processions.

Evidentiary Support B: Jay got visibly peeved at me today. (I emphasize "visibly" because it's very likely he's already been annoyed by me and I just didn't know. Or care to notice.)

Either way, I'd say 20 days ain't such a bad run.

Your Traffic and Weather Update

It is half past noon in Seville on what is sure to be another sunny and 70-degree Wednesday*. Meanwhile, the Lincoln Tunnel is backed up, making it tougher and tougher for those Jersey commuters to get to their New York City offices. When those commuters exit the Lincoln Tunnel, they will find it is raining and a brisk 41 degrees Fahrenheit.

How do I know all this?

Jenn is listening to WCBS radio. It streams over the Internet in crackles and buzzes. It talks of traffic, weather and a little news. And it serves as some sort of entertainment to her. Maybe, it's a reminder of home—familiar American voices talking about life's daily little things.

Or maybe it's something more sinister. Perhaps she is relishing in the misfortune of those poor tri-state area residents she has abandoned—at their cold, rainy March days; at their long, congested commutes.

Either way, two things are clear to me right now: (1) I'm glad I'm in Seville and not New York; and (2) I would prefer American television to American radio any day.

*UPDATE: I just had to gloat about the typically beautiful weather here. We got our first bit of rain this afternoon after 20 perfectly sunny days. It is now 60 degrees Fahrenheit with scattered showers. Still, I made the commute from my bed to the couch without incident. 

He Ate, She Starved, He Ate Her Portions

I’ll eat everything. If you know me, you know this to be true.
I will not eat everything. If you know me, you know this to be true.

It has been said that the Spanish eat everything on the pig except for the oink. I’ve joined them. I’ve eaten my way from the hoof to the hip with fine slices of jamón serrano. I’ve gotten all up in the pig’s face with tasty bits of carrillada, or pork cheeks. I’ve lusted in the loins of lomo de puerco.

I’ve picked my way around the bacon in “vegetarian” quiches and I’ve swallowed a croquette whole to avoid chewing the ham, whilst still getting its flavor. I’ve been turned off from fish after biting into a singular bone. I’ve eaten meals that consist solely of garbanzo beans that were unavoidably stewed in chorizo.

I ate that chorizo.

I’ve begrudgingly eaten salmorejo—delicious as the tomato-based soup may be—peppered with bits of chewy bacon, just to feed my starving body.

Oh, but you begged for a bite of my bacon-wrapped dates!

You weren’t supposed to tell!

Now, we’re off to a “vegetarian” restaurant. I’ll likely order the ham.

And I’ll have the bread basket.

I want to kill.

I’m a pretty non-violent person, even going out of my way to avoid stepping on ants on the sidewalk, but as of late, my attitude toward those of the bug variety has changed.

For the past week, just as I am in the throes of a deep sleep, this fly* has come buzzing around my head like the Red Barron, causing me to flail my arms like a three-year-old in the midst of a temper tantrum. The rest of the night has me listening for that damn bugger to come at me again, because I know he will as he always does, no matter how many times my big limbs have attempted to cease his existence. Then every morning, without fail, the room is completely bugless, as if it were all a figment of my imagination.

Short of going to the store and trying to describe “fly paper” to the clerk in Spanish, does anyone have suggestions on how to be rid of this problem? Sleep-interrupted reasoning once led me to leave the bathroom light on, remembering the wise words of Janet Jackson, that moths, or flies, or all bugs, no? are drawn to fire/light. It didn’t work.


*As funny and clever as the idea might be, the fly is NOT a metaphor for Jay.

Best KKK rally ever!

Palm Sunday marks the start of Semana Santa, or Holy Week, which for the Sevillianos, is a tradition of some 2,000 processions, some dating back to the 13th century. Today, we saw our first of what will likely be many pasos this week, and we were so moved by what we saw we may even go to church next Sunday. I’ll let you know how that turns out.

Here are some pictures from today’s paso, La Hiniestra (and others), and below is a video. Some background: There are men underneath carrying that float, certainly no easy feat (you’ll see it hoisted), which is why the day-long processions likely stop every five or so minutes. That, and the fact that it’s a tradition for bar owners along the route to come out with beer to refresh these He-Men. Perhaps floats get lighter as the men get drunker?

Also, some much needed explanation on the Klan-like hoods: Sevillianos don’t hate black people. The hoods are worn by the nazarenos, or brothers in the procession’s fraternity, as a symbol of repentance and grief. Other members wear a penitente, which looks like the masks worn by medieval executioners. These guys carry crosses over their shoulders—in some cases as many as four—depending on the amount of repenting that needs to be done. (Oh, those Catholics—always coming up with the craziest schemes to keep you from sinning!)

Kidding aside, the processions truly are sights to behold, what with Jesus on the cross, the funeral-like dirges played by the band and those cute little Ku Klux Klan outfits. It all makes for an eerily charming experience and I don’t believe we’ve even seen the best of it yet.

Temperature Test

The weather is warming here and so are we.

We can now navigate ordering at restaurants and the market in full Spanish, though the experiences have not been without mishaps. The other day, I attempted to order a vodka y soda at a cafe, subbing the pronunciation of the "V" as "B", as the Spanish do—only the bartender could not decipher what I was saying. Finally, he got it. "Ahhhhh, VODKA," he proclaimed, going on in Spanish, "I thought you were saying vaca, which goes moooo..."

Another time, Jay asked for the check at a restaurant. "La cuenta," which means "the check," is what one is supposed to say. Except he said, "cuanto cuestan," which essentially asks, "How much does all of this cost?"

As I said: We're just warm here. Not exactly en fuego just yet.

OMG!

This is the best thing my cable-deprived self has heard in a very, very long time:

"Rich kids are back: CW plots '90210' spinoff"

In other good news:

"Trouble Cooking for Ray Show"

Try as I might, I cannot understand why this woman has the career that she does. I've never met a single person who enjoys her dumbing down of "EVOO" and "yum-o."