Christmas in August

This is the best news I've heard since I read this a few months ago:

TheWB.com, now in Beta testing, will launch on August 27, offering classic series that aired on the now defunct WB TV network along with new web series ... The online video network will offer classic WB series Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, Veronica Mars, Smallville, Gilmore Girls, Everwood, Roswell, The Wayans Bros., Friends and The O.C. [Ed note: and One Tree Hill!], along with new series from show creators McG and Josh Schwartz.

The timing here could not be more perfect, as on August 25, I leave the confines of my couch--and as such, the ability to work while watching SOAPNet--to head back to a cubicle. And now I can take Peyton and Lucas and Seth and Summer with me.

My only concern is the absence of Dawson's Creek and Felicity. Those two shows made a network plagued by reruns of Murder She Wrote and Starship Enterprise a leader in the coveted 18-34 age bracket. You best not forget where it all started, WB/CW-whatever conglomerate.

Top 5: It's over.

There is NOTHING* left to write about. We've seen all Seville has to offer. And Spain? Over it!** We're ready to shake this little town for the city that never sleeps. (Actually, given how many times those damn kids on the Alameda woke me up with their 5-a.m. antics, Seville may have New York beat on that one.)

No matter! Who says you can't go home? Certainly not Jon Bon Jovi, and he's been around the world, so he knows what he's talking about. We've been there, done that; there's only one place left we want to go: home. Herewith, the Top 5 things we can't wait to get back to in 11 days, in order of most importance ...

Jay:
1. English Speakers, Particularly Friends And Family. The Spanish are among the friendliest and most patient people I’ve encountered, and though my skill at speaking the language has improved (it’s not hard to build on a baseline of nothing), I’m still craving good conversations and encounters with friends and family.

2. Burgers. While Spanish food is some of the best I’ve had, and the abundance of pork, fried cheeses and fresh seafood have left me little to desire, there is one thing I miss: the humble American cheeseburger.

3. A Proper Haircut. My lack of Spanish has led to the disaster on top of my head. Barbers are a garrulous bunch who require constant instruction—“A little off the top” or “Oh no. Please stop cutting.” I simply don’t have the command of this language to direct a barber. Instead, I have relied on the kindness of others: Jenn’s occasional removal of neck hairs; Casey’s American-voltage clippers that blew up midway through a trim; and a late-night, wine-fueled haircut, courtesy of Kristen.

4. Television. I hate to admit it. I miss American television. Though we have a stable of DVDs and have taken advantage of the new iTunes movie rental service, I’m looking forward to the feel of the remote in my hand and hundreds of channels of English-language crap at my command.

5. My Kitchen. Currently, we have two electric stove top burners, a microwave and a sad supply of cutlery, pots, pans and utensils. In New York, I’ll return to sharp knives, skillets whose surfaces don’t cling to everything they touch and an actual oven.

Jenn:
1. An Eyebrow Wax, Manicure and Pedicure. Yes, this actually trumps seeing friends and family. I'm just that vain, apparently.

2. Friends and Family. Simply put, I can't wait to see everyone! But not before I have some maintenance performed.

3. Having a Menu at MY Mercy. Lord, how I can't wait to get my hand on a menu where I actually know what I'm ordering. And if I don't like what I see, I can get all Sally Albright on any item.

4. A Looooong, Hot Shower. There is an endless supply of hot water to be had at my apartment in Astoria. Here; not so much.




5. Summer Reruns. Finally, I can actually watch Blair spar with Chuck and Jenny, instead of having to read about it. The quips just never translate as well.






Look for more Top 5's throughout the remainder of our time here--as I said, there just isn't much to write about anymore!***

*This isn't exactly true.

**For the record, Jay isn't "over" Spain; he just lacks a flair for the dramatic.

***See first note.

Call us! We should totally hang.

"She takes soy milk in her coffee. He thinks pork fat is a perfect pizza topping."

All the more reason why I wish Jay and I had run into Gwyneth Paltrow--perhaps my favorite actress no matter how many people hate her--and Mario Batali--absolutely Jay's most favorite chef and restaurateur no matter how much people mock his penchant for orange Crocs--as they take a foodie road trip through Spain for a show that debuts on PBS this fall.



We're still here and this video makes us nostalgic. It also makes us wish we had a professional camera crew following us in our convertible these last three months and that at least one of us possessed Gwynnie's command of Spanish.

Oh, and? NB to Gwyneth: I think I gained those 10 kilos on your behalf.

It figures.

This news comes after 10 weeks of living on a crappy conversion rate, with only three more to go:

After six years of stumbling against the euro, the dollar may be showing signs of getting back on its feet.

And another thing...

I've read so much about the amazingness that was Monday night's ep of "Gossip Girl" that I decided to brave the craptastic streaming video capabilities here to watch it. Alas, I arrive at the CW's video page only to be told: "We're sorry, but our viewer currently does not support users outside of the United States."

"But I'm American!" I wanted to scream.

OMG!

This is the best thing my cable-deprived self has heard in a very, very long time:

"Rich kids are back: CW plots '90210' spinoff"

In other good news:

"Trouble Cooking for Ray Show"

Try as I might, I cannot understand why this woman has the career that she does. I've never met a single person who enjoys her dumbing down of "EVOO" and "yum-o."

Needless live blogging: Gossip Girl

(From L-R: Blair, Dan, Serena, Nate, Chuck and Jenny)

Anyone who knows me well knows how much I love a deliciously cheesy teen drama. It all started with 90210, moved on to Dawson’s Creek (Jen Lindley being the only blond temptress I’ve ever sympathized with), graduated to Felicity, then, after a too-long dry spell, the gloriously witty O.C. (the first season, anyway) and lately, during my second dry spell and albeit a little late to the game, One Tree Hill.

Now, I have Gossip Girl. Let’s just hope it’s not Josh Schwartz’s answer to Hidden Palms. (Shame on you for that one, Kevin Williamson.)

So, here we go. My first impressions of what I hope will encompass my Wednesday nights for the foreseeable future.

9:06 p.m.: Our first look at Serena: She looks old—are those frown lines that I see? Update: IMDB tells me the actress is just shy of being old enough to drink. Unfortunate. (Also, a side note: These actors all have names as ridiculously upper-class and white-bred as their fictional counterparts: Blake Lively, Leighton Meester, Taylor Momsen—Chace Crawford?)

9:08: Peter Bjorn & John’s “Young Folks” plays in the background at Grand Central. I’m not sure how I feel about this, especially since it’s followed by an extremely outdated Justin Timberlake song (by a high schooler’s standards, anyway. I mean, it was JT's musical diatribe to Britney’s alleged cheating—so circa 2002).

9:13: As for Blair—wtf is up with that bow on her head?

9:20: At least Jenny’s cute. I love how after everyone introduces themselves to her, she says, “I know.”

9: 26: Ooh, first secret rendezvous between Serena and Nate. Hmm… uneventful. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a duller supposed-to-be heartthrob.

9:30: Blair is deliciously bitchy. I already feel myself sympathizing with her á la Brenda Walsh over that blond bubbleheaded and oft-coveted Kelly—er, I mean Serena.

9:37: So far, I have yet to hear any of Schwartz’s characteristic Seth Cohen-Summer Roberts banter. Sigh.

9:41: B’s mom: “You will never be more beautiful or thin or happy than you are right now. I just want you to enjoy it.” There it is.

9:45: Dan Humphrey is so quickly becoming Serena’s Noel Crane.

9:51: I think I’ve heard this music playing in the background of the fight scene on an episode of Melrose Place.

10:00 p.m. I may be hooked, but something within me remains skeptical. What Gossip Girl lacks in wit, it certainly makes up for with dra-ma. However, Schwartz needs to amp up the music choices. There was not one song in the entire episode that I felt compelled to immediately download and put on a playlist for my boyfriend. Even the network is hinting at something. The CW didn’t even do its standard, “Tonight’s episode featured music by…”

Until next Wednesday—you know you love it. Ha!